Won’t anyone think of the children!?
Someone is. Deeply… and we should all be listening intently
This was a week I’d been looking forward to for a long time. The publication of the book ‘The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness’ by Jonathan Haidt. Sounds cheery, doesn’t it? (Warning: don’t invite me down the pub any time soon if you want a pitch-free night).
(Note - all audio versions of Antidoters are now available on most podcast players - see here Spotify, Apple, YouTube - please do share this blog and the links - it would hugely help me to grow the audience and generate more conversations around the themes I cover. Thank you!)
Haidt is an Antidoter I’ve mentioned previously (e.g. here), and on his book launch week I thought it worth giving him the entire stage.
His work has had a huge influence on me. His last book with Greg Lukianoff ‘The Coddling of the American Mind’ fundamentally changed how I think about parenting and I haven’t since stopped banging on about it in conversations with other parents, my kid’s teachers, the headmaster, strangers in pubs since… I believe I’ve bought over 10 copies now as gifts. (you’re welcome, Jonathan).
Given that I have three, all-consuming children under 10 it’s not an understatement to use the word ‘life changing’ where this impact is concerned. The book heightened my appreciation of all the little acts my husband and I were guilty of that might damage our children’s resilience; the risks of helicoptering; society’s increasing promotion of victimhood narratives; the growing prevalence of ‘feelings’ over facts; the critical importance of boredom; plus it introduced the conversation regarding the potential serious impact of screen time on rapidly increasing rates of mental illness in the young.
Immediately we embraced ‘boredom’ time with our kids and felt less pressure to have to stimulate them at all times. Letting ourselves off the hook a bit proved the perfect antidote for two busy, working parents - the mantra in our house to the ‘i’m boooored’ whine, simply ‘only boring kids get bored’..
The Anxious Generation builds on this, with Jonathan and his researchers having since immersed themselves in the evidence, seeking to untangle causation from correlation and concluding definitively that yes, smartphone usage is damaging and hurting our children. Arguably, it’s hardly shocking when data now tells us that the average teen spends over 8 hours a day on their device, with tweens >5 hours. That’s a full time job… and aside from the mental health ramifications, begs the obvious question I’ve asked recently of what else they’re not doing with this time.
There’s lots in the book that I was already aware of as I’ve been following the data avidly over recent months as he’s put it all in the public domain, inviting criticism at every turn. Not least due to accusations of scare-mongering after The Coddling. It is for this reason that the reviews - across the political spectrum - have been universally glowing. (Although also possibly due to our ongoing obsession with doom-laden news). The beautifully-readable picture now in the book is terrifying but as Jonathan himself goes to pains to stress… all is not lost. Whilst this may be one of the biggest challenges facing modern society, there is hope. And there are tangible solutions to this mess we’ve inadvertently found ourselves in. Namely:
No smartphones before high school (roughly age 14)
No social media before 16
Phone-free schools
Far more unsupervised play and childhood independence
…four strategies that cost almost nothing and can be enacted in homes and schools rather than through top-down policy. We invented seatbelts and cycle helmets, legislated to protect the young from cigarettes, alcohol and gambling.. it’s now time to take this most critical harm seriously. Although of course, to the busy parent, this might be easier said than done. The ‘square aupair’ has proven a godsend for many.
Already Mrs Beast has awoken in the form of mum activists. Parents are mobilising - via the rapid, recent spread of the ‘Smart Phone Free Childhood’ UK grassroots initiative, set up by worried parents and spreading like wildfire through the country via every parent’s most hated smartphone s’app - whatsapp. The intention is to educate parents enough to enable them to have proper conversations about phones with their children, to increase pressure at government levels (although to what end is another question) and to encourage more parents to delay the age at which kids first get smartphones. Appreciating the pressure from children with regards to getting a first phone, the simple idea is that if c.25%+ of parents can resist it prior to age 13 or 14 (at least) then no one child is stigmatised for being the only one without. (This mirrors a US-based campaign’s efforts ‘Wait until 8th)’. Lots of solutions are being brainstormed to retain safety and connectivity once children reach ages of greater independence - dumb phones, data-locking, tracking etc. And I have no doubt that entrepreneurs will rush into the newly-created opportunity.
Indeed, my 10 year old son is somewhat aggrieved to discover he’s about to become a guinea-pig for abstinence for his generation and is currently ‘creative consultant’ to a book/ pamphlet we’re working on to try and translate some of The Anxious Generation’s findings for his peers (not least as he wants to go as himself to National Book Day next year).
It strikes me that the element missing in much of this is how to bring them with us, rather than impose restrictions, like a punishment on them. He’s fuelling me with countless Youtuber and Fortnite analogies (and Prime) to help make the case more compelling for this age group. Female friends are supporting with their analogies, as it’s striking how different the trends are by sex.
Jonathan’s top-level diagnosis is that over-protection in the real world and under-protection in the digital world are the major reasons why children born after 1995 became the ‘anxious generation’.
And I’m not sure there are that many more serious issues we should be discussing right now as a society.
I’ll say little more this week than encourage you to fall down this rabbit hole with me - and via the words of the author directly linked below. But for kid’s sake, just buy the book.
The website - Anxiousgeneration.com (incl free resources for parents and teachers)
Jonathan’s ‘After Babel’ Substack
The Guardian review/ excerpt
The Independent review
The Atlantic article
Podcasts: Honestly with Bari Weiss (spotify) Joe Rogan (youtube);
UK: The Smart Phone Free Childhood grassroots initiative (more free resources) - and do get involved in any local groups set up under this banner if you’re interested in finding one locally. I set one up for my school and I’ve found the tone of the conversation kind and judgement-free.