Too old to be young, too young to be old

Observations on generational battles from a midlife perspective (ouch, that hurts)

Been pondering age this week as I watched the stoic, moving interviews with D-day heroes and then observed Joe Biden, staggering, confused and slurring in recent public appearances.  Contrasting these with the coverage of young, ‘passionate’ activists disrupting campuses or destroying works of art or with all the young faces we see around us daily- eyes down in digital worlds and the generational differences today can seem starker than ever.  Yet another line of polarisation.

(source - my prompt to Dall-E AI image generator.. Crazy, eh?)

With the exception of veterans and maybe presidents, respect for our elders now seems deeply unfashionable and it’s no wonder given how few of us mix outside of our age-demographics.  We inhabit entirely different cultural siloes: we listen to different music; get our news from different sources; binge different dramas; use different colloquialisms and admire celebs or ‘influencers’ that other generations will never encounter.  Many of these have always been the case but never before as mutually exclusive by generation.  Most of soceity would been vaguely aware of most major national/global celebrities when I was growing up, but ask my mother who Mr Beast is or a teenager who Jeremy Clarkson is and they’ll both just blink blankly.  

In the absence of actually knowing (m)any, it’s little surprise older people are frequently derided as out-of-touch: blamed for Brexit and Trump, high house prices, and much of our economic inequality (until that is, they age beyond being ‘dangerous’ and inexplicably, patronisingly become ‘cute’).  Simultaneously young people are branded lazy, angry, materialist or ‘snowflakes’ in outlook by many elders.  As ever, antidoters…  neither are fair or accurate generalisations. 

Of course, the political polarisation of young and old has been well documented for generations. 

Why is it people typically move right as they age and what does this mean for politics in a rapidly ageing world?   Is it, as often assumed, that people tend to gravitate towards more self-preservationist politics… for their assets, customs or the social conventions that they fear are in terminal decline in a world evolving so rapidly without them?  Or might it be that their more extensive life-experience provides them with more data points, experience and realistic insight into human nature?  Are conventions and traditions experiments proven to work over generations, discarded at our peril or is tradition “one of those words conservative people use as a shortcut to thinking.” (Warren Ellis) or ‘the democracy of the dead’ (Chesterton)?  

In a world that seems to prioritise ‘lived experience’ over data and evidence, it’s curious that the biggest proponents of this world view - the young -  can be so dismissive of the opinions fostered over decades-long lived experience.  

It is assumed that the passionate activism of youth reflects greater concern and empathy for the world.  Yet In his defence of ‘respecting our elders’ at an Oxford Union debate,

Rob Henderson

quotes a myriad of research that consistently demonstrates that older adults are generally more ethical, more cooperative, and more trusting than younger adults with the latter displaying “a greater propensity for deceit, manipulation, and selfishness compared with older people”. 

On the question of ‘wisdom’  he comments:  

The very fact that we can even ponder this question suggests that we live in a society of relative comfort—a luxury secured through the efforts and decisions of previous generations…

Not all old people are wise, but almost all wise people are old…. 

True wisdom is not just about making good choices; it also encompasses the ability to retain sound judgement across a diverse array of situations, especially unfamiliar and challenging ones. …

Only by respecting elders enough to listen to how they made their decisions, including concentrating on where they might have gone wrong, can we hope to do any better than them. 

And yet now we fetishise youth. Case in point: Greta Thunberg, whose hero-worshipping never sat well with me and frankly, struck me as exploitative.   How, at the time, did we make a 14 year old without a geography GCSE a figurehead for one of the most deeply scientific issues of our time, advocating simplistic policies that would have seismic economic ramifications for the poorest populations in the world?  Quite how qualified she is on the complexities and history of the Middle East conflict at the ripe old age of 21 is another question.  ‘How dare you?’ Quite.  

Both Old-Agesim and ‘Teenism’ are rife, but rarely get limelight from the other ‘isms’ beyond the odd conversation around whether carpark app-only payments or ‘digital natives only’ job adverts are discriminatory.  Groups of ‘youths’ are watched suspiciously, banned from shopping in groups and frowned upon for high jinks in public places whilst also told they also spend too much time on their devices.  Where are they supposed to go and what else are they supposed to do but ‘hang about’ in a country that’s seen youth funding cut by £1.1Bn over the last decade?  There’s not even a high street to speak of anymore beyond overpriced coffee shops, vape shops and charity shops (huzzah!).  Incidentally - this recent McDonalds advert capitalises on this brilliantly.  Fantastic advertising.

Many over 40s accuse the young of being lazy.  #Quietquitting is a hashtag trending amongst GenZ (& below) to promote opting-out of hard work because, as

Eliza Filby

, an expert on generational difference explains:  “Gen Z have grown up in a time when work doesn’t pay…. Average real wages are now no higher than they were in 2005. They may have increased in the last two years, but as we know, so has the cost of everything else - despite the fact that early-career salaries now (whilst not bad in absolute terms), buy a lot less after rent and living expenses”.  With the average house price now 8x the average salary, getting on the property ladder is near impossible for even higher-earning 20 or 30-somethings without a bank of Mum and Dad.  It’s no wonder they’re a bit bitter, not drinking the kool aid or signing up to emulate their parents’ stressful lives. 

Forty-something is an interesting vantage age from which to observe both… and to give both a bit more of the benefit of the doubt.  The kids are alright.  Many are friggin awesome. They’ll undoubtedly do much better with less smartphone time (interesting updates on my explorations to come)...  But…  so are the oldies.  They’re just growing/ grew up in such different, unrecognisable-to-each-other worlds. 

As with all questions of polarisation, the solution needs to involve more and deeper societal mixing.  More cross-generational conversations; more IRL community initiatives.  To be honest, this was my hope for the recent Tory ‘national service’ manifesto initiative but its poor (rushed?) announcement and positioning saw the community-value of the ‘civic’ applications sidelined by the furore over the military service elements.  The potential for the former to not only build skills but foster community-harmony by bringing people into regular contact with those of different socio-economic backgrounds, ideologies and age could (have?) provide(d) a powerful antidote to polarisation.  

Personally, in the modern battle between old and young, I’m genuinely not sure which side i’m falling on right now. I’m at pivot point.  Or maybe not, Grandma. (the Greta comment might have edged it).  You tell me. 

Boring bit where I ask you to please share this, forward it, link to it on (bl0ody) social media - as whilst I get so many lovely text messages from people who enjoy different editions (& it’s led to some fascinating intros) - it would always be nice if a few more people were reading it…